Going Forward
by luli27
Summary: Formerly 'Not a Mistake'. Series of one shot songfics of key moments in BB's new life as a couple that's expecting their first baby.
1. Not a Mistake

**Disclaimer**: They're not mine; I'm just borrowing them for a little bit.

**A/N**: It's been a loooong time since I wrote and even longer since I posted anything. I had pretty much gotten over Bones, I haven't watched regularly since season 3, but I tuned in for the last bit of this season and darn it, if I didn't fall for it all over again. And like a lot of you out there, I was inspired to start writing again. This takes place the morning after VNM is killed. This wasn't what I first came to my mind about the after effects of that night (I actually have another story in the works) but every time this song came on my mp3, the beginning of this scene would flash on my mind and I found that couldn't get rid of it so I decided to write it out. Like I said, I haven't really watched seasons 4 or 5 and I've only watched the last six or so episodes of season 6; what I know about what happened then comes from fics I've read, the spoilers I've caught or what my friends told me, so if there are mistakes about cannon, I hope you can let it go and enjoy the fic for what it is. The song's called "Nada Fue Un Error" sang by Coti, Paulina Rubio and Julieta Venegas; it's a really good song, you guys should check it out. One more thing, RL for my regular beta has gotten very complicated, as such this hasn't been betaed by anyone other than me. I tried my best but mistakes might have gotten by me, if so, please excuse them.

The sunlight crept slowly across the room until it reached the bed and the two bodies that lay intertwined in it. The sun falling on her face disrupted her sleep and she scrunched her nose and tried to bury her face into the pillow. While Dr. Temperance Brennan was usually an early riser, there were times when she liked sleeping in and for that reason, her bed was as far away from the bedroom window as it could be and her blinds were always closed. In her more asleep than awake state, she couldn't understand why the sun was on her face and the scrunched up nose was as much due to the confusion over that fact as her desire not to wake up. She wasn't sure why but somewhere in her subconscious she knew she didn't want to wake up and face the day.

When she felt the heavy arm across her midsection, the hairy legs tangled with hers and the solid chest all along her back, however, sleep fled and she was wide awake. It had been a long time since she'd woken up with anyone in her bed and even longer since she'd woken up in someone else's bed and for a moment, panic threatened to take over. And then she remembered: Mr. Nigel-Murray was dead, Broadsky was still at large and in the early hours of the morning, she'd gotten into bed with Booth. The last recollection had her freezing up as her flight response fought with her much newer determination not to run from emotionally laden situations.

Though her determination not to run from Booth again won and the tension slowly left her, she stayed still so as not to wake up Booth since she wanted a little time to herself to process the events of the early morning. She didn't regret what had happened, as Angela would say, it had been a long time coming, but she did wish it could have happened under different, better circumstances. As it was, she didn't know where they stood; she didn't know whether he was still angry or not or how he felt about her. As much as she disliked talking about feelings, she wished they had talked about what making love would mean to them before making love, maybe if they had she wouldn't feel as uncertain as she did at the moment.

"Hey," she heard Booth say from behind her and she knew that, though it hadn't been long enough, the moment to herself was over. Booth kissed that spot behind her ear that made her shiver before he shifted them so that she was on her back and he was on his side, looking down at her.

She felt so unsure of herself that it took her a moment before she could look up into his eyes and even then, the look on her face wasn't the relaxed, smiley one that one would expect after the experienced they'd shared. And, though Booth was usually great at reading her and could almost always know what was going on in her head (sometimes before she knew herself), this one time his Bones sixth sense completely failed him and instead of seeing uncertainty and self-doubt, he saw regret and even shame. It was more than likely due to his own insecurity and fear, and he would later kick himself for it, but at that moment he reacted to what he most dreaded to see instead of what was actually there.

_Tengo una mala noticia/ I have bad news  
>No fue de casualidad it wasn't accidental  
>Yo queria que nos pasara... y tu, y tu I wanted it to happen to us … and you, and you  
>Lo dejaste pasar let it happen  
><em>

"No," he denied, shaking his head, before she could say anything. "No, Bones, I won't accept it."

"What? Booth, I don't …" she started to speak, the uncertain look on her face changing into a confused frown as she didn't really know what it was that he was denying. Whatever it was that she had expected of the first morning after with Booth, hearing him say 'no' first thing, hadn't been it.

"No, you can't - you're not allowed to take it back. I asked you … I _asked_ you if you were sure. I told you that you had to be a 100% certain you wanted it because there was no going back – once that line is crossed, you can't uncrossed it. I asked and you said you were sure. So, no," he repeated, shifting to sit up properly. "You can't take it back; you can't claim that it was the heat of the moment or that it was one of those things and that you didn't know what you were doing. It wasn't an accident; it wasn't a mistake and you sure as hell can't take it back."

"Booth," she started to say again but he talked over her once more.

"No, Bones. We were both here. We _both_ wanted it; it wasn't just me. And yes, okay, it probably wasn't the ideal time. It sure wasn't how I'd imagine it happening and yes, maybe some people would say that I took advantage of you at a time when you were emotionally vulnerable. But that's why I asked you; that's why I wanted you to be sure of what you were doing and you assured me you were. You told me you were sure and that you wouldn't regret it. You promised, Temperance; and you can't take it back now. You were right there with me – every step of the way. You let it happen because you wanted it as much as me…"

"Booth," she said again, this time loud enough that he stopped talking. "Booth, I…" she trailed off because she wasn't sure what to say. Well, she knew that she had to reassure him but she wasn't sure how to go about it. She was still confused about all the different things she was feeling and having heard his panic hadn't really helped her. It was usually Booth who helped her navigate the emotional minefields and she wasn't sure how to do it without him or how to help _him_ navigate an emotionally uncertain situation. It was because of all that confusion that what finally came out of her mouth wasn't exactly the most appropriate or most comforting thing she could have said, "I'm … sorry, Booth. I just …"

_No quiero que me perdones/ I don't want you to forgive me  
>Y no me pidas perdon or to ask for forgiveness  
>No me niegues que me buscaste don't deny that you came looking for me  
>Nada nada de esto nothing of this  
>Nada de esto fue un errornothing of this was a mistake  
>Nada fue un error nothing was a mistake_  
><em>Nada de esto fue un error nothing of this was a mistake_

"God, Bones!" Booth exclaimed as he threw the covers aside and stood up. "I don't want you to apologize!" he said as he picked up his sweatpants and jerked them on. "I really don't want to hear you're sorry that we made love because I'm not and I'm sure as hell not about to apologize for it!"

"No, Booth, that's not …" she tried to explain but, as had been the norm that morning, he ignored her and kept on speaking.

"You came to me, Temperance," he pointed out. "You came into my bedroom in the middle of the night because you needed someone to hug you, because you needed a shoulder to cry on – because you needed _me_." He took a step away from the bed when she leaned down to pick up the sweatshirt she'd discarded earlier, slipped it on and stood up right in front of him. "You needed me, Bones," he repeated in a lower but no less firm voice. "You needed me and for once, you acted on it; you can't deny it now. I won't let you deny it …"

"Stop, Booth," she said, placing two fingers on his lips to silence him. "That's enough; it's my turn, alright?" He nodded and took another step back, crossing his arms across his chest; Brennan knew that meant that though he'd keep quiet, he wasn't really in a receptive mood. "I …" she wasn't sure what to say but she knew she had to say something soon. She might not be good at reading other people or situations but even she could tell that the situation was rapidly careening out of control. It was almost like watching a train go off the track and if she didn't explain herself properly, the resulting crash would leave them both gravely wounded. Since she didn't think Booth would appreciate a logical, reasonable explanation and her mind wasn't clear enough to offer one anyway, she allowed her heart to speak, for once.

"I'm not sorry, Booth," she told him, linking her fingers in front of her. "I don't regret making love with you – I don't regret one moment spent with you." At that declaration, Booth's whole demeanor changed and his posture relaxed.

"Why did you say you were sorry, then?" He asked in a softer voice as his arms came down.

"Because," she answered, "I _am_ sorry about whatever it was I did, though I'm not sure what that was, that upset you this much. I am sorry that …" she hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath before continuing. "And I am very sorry that my past behavior has made it so hard to believe me when I say I'm sure that I want to be with you but so easy to believe I would regret it and want to forget it. I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly that day on the steps of the Hoover Building that you can't trust …"

"No, no, Bones," Booth interrupted her before she could finish, frantically shaking his head. "I _do_ trust you – I do; it's just … this is so new and I …" he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "That night … that night is in the past; can't we just leave it there? It's over and done with, Bones, let's just forget it, huh?"

_Los errores no se eligen/ mistakes aren't chosen  
>Para bien o para mal for good or bad  
>No falle cuando viniste... y tu, y tu I didn't fail when you came … and you, and you  
>No quisiste fallar didn't want to fail  
><em>

"But that's just it, Booth, don't you see?" she asked him. "The past may be over but we're never really done with it. It leaves a mark on us; it lives in us. It shapes who we are – it molds us. If we ignore it; if we discard it and dismiss it as irrelevant, how can we learn from it? If we don't at least try and understand it, how can we keep from making the same mistakes?"

"Bones, what …?" Booth frowned and she could see the confusion on his face.

"I'm good at my job, Booth," She told him, which didn't really clear up the confusion. "I rarely if ever make mistakes when I'm working. When it comes to personal relationships, however, well, I've made more than a few. But none I regret more than hurting you."

"Bones, that's …" he was going to say 'the past' but given what she'd just said about the past, he just trailed off.

"But while I regret hurting you," she continued, "I don't think my mistake was in telling you no, it was in how I said it – because how I said it hurt you."

"I thought that night was your biggest regret?" Booth wasn't sure why he said it, he hadn't meant to. He wasn't sure he wanted to have this conversation – not at that moment, not just a few hours after first making love and not just a few hours before he resumed the hunt for Broasdky. But for some reason, he couldn't just let that comment go.

"My biggest regret's how much I hurt you," she answered. "And how, for a time at least, it seemed like my actions had destroyed any hope of ever being more than just partners. But I wasn't ready for more back then, Booth. Part of me wanted it but a bigger part of me was scared – scared that I wouldn't be able to give you what you needed and you'd eventually leave, scared that we'd lose what we had, trading it for something ephemeral, scared that I would lose myself, scared that we couldn't keep working together if it didn't work …"

"I get it, Bones," he said with a soft smile to take the sting out of the interruption, "you were scared."

"Yes, I was," she nodded. "I just wasn't ready but that's not an excuse for letting you down."

"No, Bones," Booth denied, "You didn't let me down. If you weren't ready, you weren't ready. If anything, I let you down by asking for more than you were ready to give."

"Perhaps," she allowed because she had felt let down; he was supposed to know her better than anyone else, better than she knew herself sometimes and for him to basically give her an ultimatum had been disappointing. And yet, "I let you down too, Booth," she insisted. "I let you and myself down when instead of just telling you I wasn't ready, I chose to hide behind my logical, rational persona and claim I couldn't change, that you were the gambler and that I was happy with us just being partners. I think if I had been honest about not feeling ready for such a change, things would have been very different."

"Bones," she could tell he wanted to argue with her so she just looked him in the eye and asked him.

"Can you honestly tell me that you'd have tried to move on if I hadn't resolutely denied even the possibility of there ever being more between us?"

"I…" he started to say before he sighed deeply and gave in. "No, I can't. If you had left open the possibility for more – if you had acknowledged that that was something you'd like in the future, no, I wouldn't have tried to move on. I might not even have gone to Afghanistan."

"I don't know if I wouldn't have gone to Maluku," she admitted. "My reasons for going weren't just related to you and our partnership. Five years of working cases had taken its toll and I needed a break. But if things hadn't been left like we left them, I probably would have kept in touch with you during that time – I should have kept in touch with you during that time."

He thought about admitting that if she had, chances were very good he might not have taken up with Hannah but decided there was no reason to bring that up.

"Things would have been different," he stated, "but what's done is done, Bones. There's no use speculating about what would have changed if we'd done this or say that. We said what we said and did what we did and the reality we have now is what we have to deal with."

_Aprendi la diferencia entre el juego y el azar/ I learned the difference between a game and chance  
>Quien te mira y quien se entrega who looks at you and who gives himself_

"Exactly," Brennan agreed. "And the fact of the matter is that as hard as the last few months had been, maybe it needed to happen. Maybe we needed to go through that to be where we are now; as long as we learn from it, it can be something positive."

"I like the sound of that," Booth nodded.

"But Booth," she said and stopped him before he could kiss her, "I can't think of this, of us being a couple as if it were a game."

"What?" he asked, incredulous. "Why would you do that? Of course us being together isn't a game."

"But, that night outside the Hoover," Brennan frowned at him, "you said you wanted to give us a shot – as if embarking on a romantic relationship was akin to throwing the dice on some game; as if whether we work or not depended on some mysterious outside force. But I don't believe in luck anymore than I believe in fate, Booth. I believe in hard work, in working until I get what I want and I get it right. And if we begin something, I have to know that you'll work at it and won't see it as a game that relies on luck or chance…"

"No, Bones," he said, shaking his head. "Of course I don't think this is a game. I just … I just phrased it wrong. But I do believe in fate, which means that I believe that we're meant to be and the fact that we're here now, having this conversation after everything we've been through, everything we've put each other through, all the hurt of the past year, I think that just proves it. Because God knows, Bones, if we can get through this last year, we can get through anything. If anything, I think we're a sure thing, Bones."

"I don't know that I believe there's any such thing as a 'sure thing', Booth. But," she added before he could argue with her, "I do agree that, given our history, chances are better than good that we can make a romantic relationship between us work. I haven't got many relationships that work …"

"That's not true, Bones," Booth protested. "Your relationship with Angela works and your relationship with the rest of the squints and your relationship with me – they all work."

"That's true," she conceded. "But those are all friendships – well, maybe not our relationship but …" She trailed off and sighed. "I think the reason why my past relationships haven't worked is because I've never really let them in; I was content being with men that were little more than spectators in my life, who didn't demand anything of me and who didn't expect me to become involved in their lives. And if they did want more, it ended faster because I wasn't prepared to give it but I'm pretty sure we won't have that problem because you've always been different. You were never satisfied with being a passive observer; you pushed, and prodded and demanded and you weren't satisfied until you became my best friend, had access to every part of my life, until …," she hesitated because what she was going to say next would be a huge admission for her, "until I no longer want to imagine a life without you, especially now than I know exactly what that would mean."

"I feel the same way, Bones," he said before adding with a grin, "and it's not like you didn't push and prod your way into my life too, is it?"

She opened her mouth to argue but closed it when she realized that she'd be arguing just for the sake of arguing because he _was_ right: she'd been fascinated with him from the start and hadn't hesitated in asking what he'd usually considered inappropriate questions or offering, unsolicited and mostly unheeded, advice (something that, despite her tendency to lecture, she really didn't do for anyone else) and there had been all those times she's stayed with him when she'd known he'd had rather be alone. So, yes, in a way she'd pushed her way into his life too.

"I guess," she said with a half smile, "that we've never been just partners – despite our claims to the contrary."

"No, I guess we haven't," he grinned back at her. "So," he said after a few moments of them standing there, grinning at each other. "We're really doing this?"

"Yes, I think we are," she nodded. "If you're sure you still want …?"

"Of course I do," he said without hesitation, "And I guess from now on, we'll be …"

"partners," they said tighter before she added, "in every sense of the word."

"I like that," he said and pulled her in to hug and kiss her.

"Booth," she said countless moments later when they finally came up for air.

"Umm?" he asked as he buried his face in her neck.

"Nothing we do together could ever be a mistake," she assured him and he grinned as he pulled back to kiss her once more before they separated and went to start getting ready to face the rest of the day.

_Nada nada de esto/ nothing of this  
>Nada de esto fue un errornothing of this was a mistake  
>Nada fue un error nothing was a mistake  
>Nada de esto fue un error nothing of this was a mistake_


	2. Collide

**Chapter 2**

__**A/N:** It's been awhile since I've written or posted anything on this or any other fandom - I guess my muse has, once again, taken quite a long trip. But I finally finished this fic and though it isn't really necessary to have read the first chapter to understand this and the following chapter, I did write them as a set so I'll post them together. I'd like to thank Mendebar for all her help with this fic. I hope you guys like it, please let me know what you think!

_The dawn is breaking  
>A light shining through<br>You're barely waking  
>And I'm tangled up in you<br>_

He fought it for as long as he could; tightening his eyes and simply refusing to accept it but after what felt like forever, but in reality was only about fifteen minutes, he finally gave up. With a disgusted sigh, he opened his eyes. The annoyed frown promptly fell from his face and changed into a tender smile when the first thing he saw was a peacefully sleeping Brennan. She was lying with her face pillowed on his chest, one arm thrown low over his torso and her legs tangled with his.

Their bodies were so intertwined that at first glance it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. For someone that was so emphatically opposed to public display of affection and wasn't really all that fond of them even in private, she sure liked to cuddle in her sleep. Gently, Booth tried to de-tangle himself because as much as he liked holding a sleeping Bones in his arms, he couldn't keep ignoring the call of nature.

He finally got untangled and up from the bed and then, had to practically run to the bathroom because he had waited too long to walk normally. He grumbled all the way there and all the while he relieved his bladder and washed his hands; Brennan had told him not to drink that last soda before bed last night but he had argued instead of listening to her and now here he was up with the sun when he could be in bed, sleeping in and holding her close.

When he walked back into the bedroom, he noticed that the sunlight was filtering through the cracks in the blinds. Blinking in the increased light, he walked towards the window and adjusted the blinds to keep the bedroom as dark as possible for as long as possible. It was Saturday morning and Parker had gone with his mom out of town, which meant that

Booth and Brennan had nothing pending and Booth had planned to convince Brennan to spend most of the day in bed, relaxing. The best way to do that was to make sure she stayed asleep as long as possible.

_I'm open, you're closed  
>Where I follow, you'll go<br>I worry I won't see your face  
>Light up again<br>_

He walked back towards the bed but hesitated before getting in; for a moment he just stood there, admiring the sleeping beauty in his bed but then he realized that he could admired her just as easily from inside the bed while he held her. He got in, very carefully brought her back into his arms and went back to studying her. They've been together close to six months but going to sleep with her in his arms and waking up to see her face first thing every morning was nowhere near to getting old and he rather doubted it ever would.

She was always beautiful but in these moments when she was asleep and all her walls and defenses were down and the innocence and kindhearted nature that her persnickety personality usually hid was allowed to shine through, she was breathtaking; he was both humble and proud to be the only one that would be privileged to see her this way from now on. Though he might, from time to time, wish that she was more open, like he was, with people and with what she considered illogical situations, those times didn't last long because, in the end, he always realized that he loved her just as she was and that while she might appeared close with others when it came to him, she'd always been open and never more so than in the last six months.

He tightened his arms around her when he thought back to the last months and how close he came to never knowing this, to never knowing the look in her eyes when he told her he loved her or the tone of her voice when she said it back or the absolute joy that lit her face whenever she felt the baby move; the idea that he might have lost her before he ever really had her was terrifyingly paralyzing. And all because he let a man-child who had no real grasp of the complexity of their relationship goad him into pushing her before she was ready and because, in his hurt, he forgot that with her you couldn't just listen to what she said you also had to hear what she didn't say.

Maybe that was the one downside to relying on each other so much, despite all their bickering and rarely agreeing with each other, when it came right down to it, they were used to following the other one's lead, always believing that the other knew best. But that wasn't always the case and in that particular instance, he'd taken her at her word and gave up, saying he'd move on, when he should have fought for her – for them. And his attempt to move on had been followed by Brennan leaving which had led to his leaving which had led to Afghanistan and Hannah and well … one poorly made decision had led to a series of unfortunate decisions that had almost destroyed them.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
>Even the wrong words seem to rhyme<br>Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
>I somehow find You and I collide<em>

He could only be grateful that despite all their mistakes, they had somehow made their way back to each other and were now together and happy and expecting a baby. And perhaps they had needed to have big obstacles to overcome; maybe having gotten through everything life had thrown at them so far meant that they were stronger now and able to face whatever new challenges might appear in the future. Maybe the only way you got to be a truly great, larger-than-life romance was to overcome overwhelming odds. After all, most, if not all, of the truly famous and classic couples in history had had more than one stumble on their road to happily ever after.

Take Romeo and Juliet for instance … no, not them, they committed suicide in the end, so not a good example. But Clark Kent and Lois Lane, now there was a good example. Not only had they had more than a few obstacles to overcome, the one about him lying about who he really was would have been more than enough by itself, but they had also been best friends and partners before they finally got together, it had been her that had doubted they could make a go of it _and_ they had fought against crime and for truth, justice and the American way. Okay, so they had investigated crime as journalists not cops but the end result had been the same.

Yup, Booth decided with a silly grin, they and Clark Kent and Lois Lane had more than a bit in common and that just proved that having a few stumbles along the way only makes you stronger in the end. It also proves that when something is meant to be nothing, not even your own doubts and mistakes can keep you apart because in the end, it all, somehow works out. With an even bigger grin, Booth wondered how Brennan would react if he told her about his theory: that the fact that they have so much in common with Clark Kent and Lois Lane is all the proof he needs that it was their fate to end up together. She'd probably say that that's an illogical and irrational proposition and ask him when was the last time he saw his neurologist?

Imagining her face made him silently chuckle and he pondered how hard it would be to get her to dress as Lois Lane to his Clark Kent for Halloween; after all, it was for certain she wouldn't be dressing as Wonder Woman that year. No doubt she'd complained about the fact that he got all the superpowers and she nary a one; maybe if he pointed out that Lois never needed any superpowers to keep up with Superman and that it was in fact Clark that needed all his superpowers as Superman to keep up with her, she'd agree. He could also mention that Lois' smarts and strong personality were more than enough to hook and keep Clark – though that would probably just get him a lecture about how a woman, her especially, had no need to 'hook' or keep a man to be complete and happy. This time his chuckle wasn't so silent and had the woman in his arms stirring.

_I'm quiet you know  
>You make a first impression<br>I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

"Booth?" she asked. "Is it time to get up?"

"Nah, Bones," he answered, kissing her shoulder. "It's barely dawn."

"Then why are you awake?" she queried around a yawn. "You had to go to the bathroom, didn't you?" she said before he could answer her.

"Nope," he denied. "I just … I just woke up, I guess. No reason."

"You had to go to the bathroom," she stated with certainty, making it plain she didn't buy his weak excuse; not that he'd expected her to. "I told you shouldn't have had that last drink." She could never resist an 'I told you so'.

"Yes, dear," sometimes it was just easier to agree because, since there was no way he could win, there was no point in arguing. Though, at times, the low probability of wining or even the fact that he was wrong weren't determents to arguing with her but that morning he was too sleepily content to argue.

"Maybe next time," she told him, "you'll actually listen to me instead of insisting that your 40 year old body will react the same way it did when you were in your 20s." She was never too sleepy or content to not argue or not harp on something when she thought she was right.

"_Almost_ 40, Bones," Booth stressed. "_Almost_ 40; I haven't turned 40 yet."

"Your birthday is just a few weeks away, Booth," Brennan argued, "there's no need to qualify that statement with 'almost'."

"Oh, come on, Bones," Booth started to whine but then sighed when he realized it wouldn't get him anywhere. "Let's just some more sleep, huh, Bones."

"Okay," she agreed because while pregnancy might not have affected her tendency to argue, it had drained her of her usual energy so that she no longer jumped out of the bed in the early hours of the morning and run to the lab – especially on the weekends. "See you later," she mumbled into his shirt before she dropped a kiss over his heart and turned over. She didn't fully relax until she felt him turned onto his side, spoon himself against her back, wrapped his arm around her waist and rest his hand on her belly.

It had been a revelation to find out that she liked cuddling with Booth, that sleeping wrapped up in his arms made her feel loved and safe instead of trapped and smothered; it has surprised and scared her, more than a little, to find out that she slept better when she could feel him next to her. It had been so out of character for her that she'd been tempted to blame it on her pregnancy hormones. The problem with that theory was that the hormonal changes didn't start to be felt until the second month, at the earliest, and she'd known that she wouldn't sleep well alone anymore the second morning she woke up in his arms.

It hadn't been an altogether comfortable knowledge because, though she knew it wasn't a weakness, it had felt like one and she'd only found peace with it when Booth told her that he felt the same way. And while that knowledge hadn't completely erased the vulnerability, it had made it easier to accept. She was just glad that no one but Booth knew she felt that way because she wanted to protect her reputation as a logical, rational, no-nonsense woman. Not that many people would believe it even if they'd heard about it since she also had a reputation for being stand-offish and cold.

The truth was that most people didn't really understand what someone like Booth, who everyone could tell was a 'heart person' within minutes of meeting him, was doing with an obviously cerebral person like herself. And she couldn't really fault anyone for thinking that way when she had wondered the same thing more than once herself. She had come to realize, however, that while intellectually she and Booth might not make much sense and that even if there was someone out there that was a better emotional match for him, the simple fact was that no one could make them as happy as each other. She'd tried letting him go and he'd tried moving on and it had been a disaster. And though the strength of their bond had scared her so much that she ran, at the end of the day, it was that strength that had made it possible for them to get through all the up and downs and come out the other side stronger than ever.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
>Even the stars refuse to shine<br>Out of the back you fall in time  
>I somehow find You and I collide<br>_

She grimaced as she remembered those painful months and, placing her hand over his, pulled his arm closer to her body. Temperance Brennan was not a woman usually given to introspection. She might be fascinated with humanity's past and have made it her field of study but when it came to her own past, she did her best to think of it as little as possible – nothing good ever came from dwelling on it. Unfortunately, lately she'd find her thoughts turning to her recent past every time she got a few minutes to relax and her agile brain wasn't focused on something concrete. This situation she did blame on her pregnancy because all of the free time she suddenly had was a direct result of her uncharacteristic lack of energy, which was a direct consequence of her pregnancy.

Not that she regretted the pregnancy or would, even for a minute, change how things happened but it did require a considerable number of adjustments. Adjustments she was happy to make because for the first time since she was fifteen, she was truly happy; which made thinking about a time when she'd been as unhappy as she'd ever been, a time when she thought she'd lost her chance for true happiness for good, more than a little unsettling. The only thing that made it bearable was that she could also remember finding comfort and love in Booth's arms after Vincent died and him telling her, as they walked home after Michael was born, that being in love made having a baby the best day of your life and how, when she told him she was pregnant with his baby, his whole face had lit up with the biggest smile she'd ever seen on his face.

Those moments and every other happy moment that had followed in the five months since had made all the pain from before worth it. All the pain they'd caused each other, all the misunderstandings, the running away, the lying (to themselves if not each other), all those moments when she hadn't been sure how she'd get through another evening of seeing him happy with someone else – she'd go through all that all over again if that's what it took to get where they were at that moment: happy, in love and expecting a child.

Booth still maintained that everything they've been through was proof that it was their fate to end up together and that nothing, not even they, could have stopped it. She didn't believe in fate but she was grateful that despite all their mistakes, in the end, they proved stronger than their fears and smart enough to learn from their past instead of letting it dictate their future. She'd lived through having Booth in her life as nothing more than a partner because of the fears her past had given her and if it came down to it again, if it once again became a choice between having him in her life in a limited capacity or not having him in it at all, she'd choose the limited capacity once more because not having him in her life at all was just not an option she was prepared to accept. She was just thankful beyond measure that she got a second chance and that that decision wasn't one she had to live with for the rest of her life.

_Don't stop here  
>I lost my place<br>I'm close behind_

"Thank you," she felt compelled to whisper even though she wasn't even sure he was still awake.

"You're welcome," he whispered back and she could tell he was more asleep than awake. "Why?"

"For always being there for me," she answered quietly but seriously, "for always knowing what I need and giving it to me … for never leaving or betraying me."

"You're welcome," he replied, and this time he was more awake. "But you don't need to thank me, Bones. All those things, they're things that come natural to me – there's really no need to thank me for something that's almost instinctual. Besides," he hesitated for a moment, "I … I wasn't always there, Bones. I…"

"Stop, Booth," she said, squeezing his hand. She turned around until she could look into his eyes. "You were always there when it counted, Booth – even when you weren't."

"I …" Booth thought about arguing the point but that would take them in a direction that they didn't need to take. Instead, he leaned forward and lightly kissed her lips. "You're always there for me too, Bones. And when I … fumbled and then fell and then got angry about it, you were there. Not just physically but emotionally, you were there for me. Even when I wasn't completely there myself, when I wasn't the easiest person to be around, when it would have been easier to leave, you were there for it all, Bones. Thank you." He then paused and, because she didn't always get metaphors, asked, "You know what I'm talking about, right?" It was almost the same question he'd asked her months before during the blizzard and her answer was about the same too.

"Yes, I know what you're talking about," she nodded. "But I was only doing what you taught me, Booth; what you've always done for me – because that's what we do, isn't it? We're always there for each other and we never, ever, leave the other one behind." She thought of all those times he refused to leave her when she was in emotional distress.

"Yeah, that's what we do – we never leave the other one alone or behind," he replied, thinking of all those times she refused to leave him when they were in a dangerous situation. "And even though it couldn't have been easy, you waited for me until I got my act together."

"You waited for me first, Booth," she pointed out.

"We waited for each other," he murmured.

"But that's how it should be, isn't it?" she said. "We are partners, after all, and it's only right that whenever one needs help, the other one provides it."

"You're right," he agreed. "That's how it should be; how it's always been between us and how it'll always be. And despite how the path we took seemed to be have more a head on collision than a graceful falling; it was _our_ path, wasn't it? And however painful it might have been at times, I don't regret a single moment of it because here we are: together, in love and expecting a child."

Smiling at how he seemed to be echoing her thoughts from earlier, she leaned forward and kissed him.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
>Even the wrong words seem to rhyme<br>Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
>You finally find You and I collide<br>You finally find You and I collide  
><em>

"I love you," she told him when she finally pulled back. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, settling her back into his side.

"I love you too," he told her. And, once more in the tangled up position they've been in when he woke up, they drifted back to sleep.


	3. Je Ne Regrette Rien

**Je Ne Regrette Rien  
><strong>

**Disclaimer:** nope they're not mine; I'm just playing with them. **  
><strong>

**A/N: **I know it's been a long time but RL has a way of getting in the way and as much as I'm loving the new season, for some reason I haven't really been inspired to write for Bones. Or maybe it's because I'm liking so much the way things are going I don't feel the need to write and fix them. Anyway, I hope you like this one. The song is a favorite of mine and I've wanted to use it for a while but couldn't really find the situation to fit; I think this scenario works perfectly. I hope you let me know what you think of this. I want to thank Mendebar for all her help. Enjoy!

...

"Bones, don't you think you should slow down with the hot sauce there, huh?" Booth asked, using his fork to point to the indiscriminate and aggressive way she was pouring hot sauce over just about everything in front of her. "And please, please don't add it to the apple pie." Some things should really be sacred and apple pie was one of them.

"I wasn't thinking about it," Brennan denied but the look in her eyes told him that she was thinking about it now, so he, very subtly, inched the dessert away from her. "Angela said that hot sauce helped to bring on her labor."

"Angela was two days overdue," Booth told her, "anything could have brought on her labor. You still have two weeks to go; that much hot sauce it's just going to give you killer heartburn."

"Heartburn can't kill you," she corrected him.

"Maybe not," he conceded. "But it'll sure feel like it and you know that's what I meant."

"I just … I just want her out, Booth." She realized how bad that sounded even as the words were leaving her mouth and she hastened to correct that impression before he could say anything. "It's not that I haven't loved being pregnant – I have; or that I don't love her, because I really do. I've loved being able to provide a safe environment for our daughter to grow but she's fully developed now, Booth and I just …"

"I want to meet her too, Bones," he assured her when she hesitated.

"It's not that," she said and the shook her head in frustration, "or not just that. Because, yes, of course I want to meet her and hold her in my arms but I also … I just really want my body back, Booth."

"I know, baby, I know," he assured her. "I know it hasn't exactly been easy but you've been a trooper and it's almost over."

"You don't know that, Booth," she contradicted him. "Due dates are not what you'd call an exact science and first babies are notorious for being late. Angela was two days overdue."

"Okay, that might be true," Booth nodded, "but you're not overdue yet. And hey, both her parents are very punctual so I'm sure she'll be a good little girl and be on time. And if she isn't," he added when he saw her opened her mouth to protest, "I'll help you do all the things they say help bring on labor: exercise, hot sauce, sex." He finished, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I somehow think the sex would be more for you than me," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Anything I can do to help, Bones, anything at all," he grinned at her for a moment before turning serious. "Seriously though, I know that it's getting harder every day now and that you're ready for it to be over but try and be patient for a little longer, okay?"

"I … yes, okay, I'll try," she agreed with a sigh before biting into a French fry. "I'm just ready for pregnancy to be over and for motherhood to begin."

"And it'll be here before you know it," he promised her. "Now eat up before it gets cold."

"There really is no doubt this is your kid," she commented after swallowing a bite of hamburger. "I wouldn't eat half of this stuff otherwise."

"Well, any kid of mine is gonna like pie," Booth grinned as he started on his own piece of pie. "What is it? You okay?" he asked when she made a face and squirmed in her seat.

"I'm fine, Booth," she told him. "I just …"

"Need the bathroom?" he finished for her.

"Yes," she grimaced and started to push back from the table. "Stay, Booth," she said when he made to get up. "I can get up by myself. I'm pregnant not incapacitated."

"Okay, okay," Booth put his hands up and stayed seated. He waited until she turned her back before he smiled, knowing she might think he was making fun of her when he was just smiling at sheer pleasure of watching.

Though lately her walking resembled more a waddle than a walk, the fact that it was caused by her carrying his child meant that, to him, she'd never looked more beautiful. Brennan would insist that his pleasure was due to his pride and sense of power at having gotten her pregnant and while there might be something to that (he couldn't deny that it felt good to know that Temperance Brennan was carrying his child), it was more than that. It was the fact that it _Bones'_ child; if it was just about getting a woman pregnant then he would feel the same regardless of who was the mother and that just wasn't the case. As happy as he'd been when Rebecca was pregnant, it was nowhere near what he felt when Brennan told him she was pregnant. It all came down to the fact that the love of his life was carrying his daughter and nothing could make him happier. He was so busy staring after Brennan and smiling a little goofily to notice when someone came to stand by his table until that person cleared her throat. He looked up and saw the one person he least expected to see.

"Hannah," he said in a tone that showed his complete surprise.

_Non, Rien de rien/ No, absolutely nothing  
>Non, Je ne regrette rien No, I regret nothing_  
><em>Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait Not the good things people have done to me  
>Ni le mal tout ça m'est bien égal Not the bad things, it's all the same to me_

"Seeley," she smiled at him. He was so shaken that he sat there, paralyzed; when it finally dawned on him that he should probably get up, the moment had passed and he stayed on his seat. Though he saw the disappointed on her face, he decided it would be best for both of them if he said nothing about it. "How are you?" she said, finally breaking the not so comfortable silence.

"I'm fine," he answered. "You? I didn't know you were back in the country?"

"I'm good. I just came in night before last," she shrugged. "There's this conference I'm attending and I just thought I'd stop by and say hello. I called your office and they said you were out for lunch so I figured I might find you here."

"Yeah, this is our favorite place for lunch," Booth said and smiled. "We come just about every day."

"Yes, I remember," she looked down at the table and saw the plate with the half eaten hamburger and the second plate of apple pie across from Booth. "Are you having lunch with Sweets?"

"What?" Booth asked before following her line of vision to Brennan's side of the table. "Oh, no," he shook his head. "That's Bones' plate."

"Temperance?" now it was turned for Hannah to be surprised. "She's eating meat?"

"Umm, yeah," he nodded. "Bones' diet has changed somewhat in the last few months."

"That's a big change," she commented and he just nodded again. Another not quite comfortable silence fell over them.

"So," this time it was Booth that broke it. "How long are you staying in town?"

"Well," she answered. "The conference will last few days. How long I'll stay would actually depend…" It was probably a good thing, for both of them, that she was interrupted before she finished the sentence.

"Booth," though they could hear Brennan's voice, the same group of people that had prevented Hannah from seeing Brennan leave for the bathroom, now prevented Brennan from immediately seeing Hannah. "I just talked to the lab and the results won't be in for another hour …" she trailed off when she saw Hannah standing by their table. "Hannah," she said as she came to a stop. "I didn't know you were here."

"Temperance, hi, yeah, I just …" but she was too distracted by Brennan's obvious condition to finish her thought. "I'm sorry," she shook her head and smiled bemusedly, staring at Brennan's pregnant belly, "but you're very pregnant."

"Yes, I am," Brennan answered, placing her hand on her baby bump, "Eight and half months."

"Wow," Hannah shook her head. "That is … well, that is wonderful. Congratulations." For a moment she looked as if she would step forward to hug Brennan but the anthropologist was oblivious as usual and just nodded in acknowledgment.

"Thank you," Brennan said before taking a seat.

"I guess the pregnancy explains the changes in your diet," Hannah commented, pointing to the hamburger and pie in front of Brennan.

"Yes," Brennan sighed. "My doctor said animal protein would be helpful in her development and, since it appears she'll be carnivorous and will like cooked fruit, I've had to adjust my diet accordingly for the remaining of the pregnancy." She grimaced slightly as she placed her right hand over her belly and shifted a little in her seat.

"Is she kicking again?" Booth asked, leaning forward to place his hand next to hers.

"Yes," Brennan answered as she shifted his hand to the side. "And rolling; she's very active all of a sudden."

"I'm telling you, Bones," he said in a voice that made it clear this wasn't a new argument, "she's going to be an athlete. Feel that kick! We have a soccer star in here."

"Booth, I've told you," Brennan said, rolling her eyes, "movement in vitro is not an accurate indicator of what her athletic ability will be once she's born."

"Maybe not," he conceded, "but with a jock for a dad and her mom's natural athletic ability, how can she _not_ be an athlete?"

"Maybe," Brennan allowed, "but given her maternal lineage, it's just as likely she'll be a scientist – and given Angela's, no doubt inevitable influence, she could also be an artist."

"Hey," he said, looking at her as if she was only woman in the world, "she could also be a ballerina." His eyes lit up at the thought of a mini-Bones in a pink tutu and pigtails.

"It's possible," Brennan nodded. "She could be anything she chooses."

"Yep, she can," Booth agreed. Something in her tone and in her eyes, prompted him to add, "Hey, Bones, she could be whatever she wants and I'll still love her. You know that, right?" When she nodded, he smiled and squeezed her hand, "I'll love her no matter what; how could I not? She's _our_ daughter." Brennan smiled tenderly. And just as she was about to reply, they heard Hannah's voice and finally remembered she was there.

_Non, Rien de rien/ No, absolutely nothing  
>Non, Je ne regrette rien No, I regret nothing_  
><em>C'est payé, balayé, oublié It's paid for, swept away, forgotten  
>Je me fous du passé I'm don't care about the past_

"_Our_ daughter?" Hannah repeated a little incredulously. "Temperance is having _your_ baby?" She asked Booth.

She supposed she should have seen it coming after the comment about the baby's father being a jock, but she really hadn't. She'd been too preoccupied switching her gaze from one to the other as they'd all but forgot she was there - an ability she'd heard about from Sweets and the rest of the squints but had never actually witnessed before since Seeley had always made a point to include her in any conversation he had with Temperance.

"Yes," he answered quietly but firmly and without any hesitation. He might be a little wary of how Hannah might take the news but since he wasn't ashamed of being with Brennan or of expecting a baby with her, he wasn't about to prevaricate or deny it. "I'm the father of Bones' baby."

"And you're _eight_ and a half months pregnant?" Hannah asked Brennan after a few moments of silence.

"Yes," Brennan nodded. Like Booth's, her answer was quiet, firm and given without vacillation. Because, just like Booth, she'd done nothing she regretted or was ashamed of.

"And how long have you two been an item?" Hannah asked. "Because I'm assuming you _are_ an item?"

"Yes," and "We are," was heard at the same time from both of them. They shared a look before Brennan turned to Hannah to answer the question. She knew that, though Booth wasn't ashamed, it wasn't the type of question he'd be comfortable answering. "A little less than nine months," she told Hannah before taking anther bite of her lunch.

"A little less …?" Hannah started to repeat. "You were that sure of your relationship that you decided that fast that you wanted to have a baby together?" she asked.

"We didn't exactly decide," Brennan started to say while Booth said, "Yes, we were." Hannah looked from one to the other once more and decided Brennan's answer was more informative.

"She was an accident?" she asked, more than a little shocked.

"Our daughter was a surprise," Booth answered firmly before Brennan could even open her mouth. "She is _not_ an accident."

"Of course, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to…" she trailed off, so stunned that she didn't know what to say. She shook her head and finally said, "Congratulations – to both of you. I'm sure you'll be very happy." She paused once more and after looking around but not really seeing anything, she added, "I guess I'd better be going. I have a meeting I have to get to. It was nice …" manners or not she couldn't quite finish that sentence. "Yeah, so I'll … just go," she nodded and with a final, "Goodbye," she turned and walked away before they could say anything else.

Booth and Brennan stared after her before turning to look at each other.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Brennan asked after a moment.

"I … I," Booth shook his head. "I don't know; should I?"

"I think so," Brennan nodded. "At one point in time, she was very important to you."

"Next to Parker, you've always been the most important person in my life," Booth corrected her.

"I know," Brennan smiled at his immediate reassurance, "but she was there for you when I wasn't. You don't really want her to leave like this, do you?" She paused before adding, "I don't." They'd done nothing wrong and she didn't want Hannah to think badly of him.

"Okay," Booth finally nodded because, while he could live with Hannah thinking badly of him, there was no way he'd allowed anyone to think badly of Brennan. "I'll be right back." He got up and kissed her before he hurried out of the diner.

"Hannah!" he called out when he saw her halfway down the street. "Hold on!" He added as he jogged to catch up to her.

Hannah hesitated and for a moment he thought she was going to keep going but in the end, she stopped and, after a pause, turned to face him.

"What, Seeley?" she tried to sound normal but didn't entirely succeed.

_Avec mes souvenirs/ With my memories  
>J'ai allumé le feu I lit up the fire  
>Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs My troubles, my pleasures  
>Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux I don't need them anymore_

"I … it's just, Bones and I, we don't want you to leave like this," he told her. And then winced when he realized that was probably not the best way to begin.

"Bones and I," she repeated with a smile that was more a sneer. "It's always Temperance with you, isn't it Seeley? I supposed it always was and I should have known that this," she pointed towards the diner and Brennan, "was bound to happen."

"Hannah, come on," Booth rubbed his neck, "don't be like that."

"And just how should I be, Seeley?" she asked him. "You tell me how am I supposed to react when I find out that my ex-boyfriend, the man I lived with for months, who told me he loved me and who proposed marriage to me, the man who told me there was nothing going on between him and his partner, has gotten that partner pregnant? You tell me what I'm supposed to think."

"I don't know …" he started to answer before he shook his head and instead said, "you said it, Hannah, ex-boyfriend. It's been about a year since you left."

"I didn't leave," she argued, "_you_ told me to leave. When I didn't give you the answer you wanted, you told me to get out of your apartment. You broke up with me, Seeley; not the other way around."

"You turned down my proposal," he argued back. "What did you think I'd do? Go on as if nothing had happened?" Now, he was starting to get a little irritated.

"How come you didn't know I wasn't thinking about marriage?" was her retort. "You pride yourself in knowing people, so how come you didn't know I wasn't ready for it? You should have known we weren't ready, Seeley, and you shouldn't have asked."

"Oh, pardon me for thinking you meant it when you told me you loved me," now he was more than a little irritated and his voice showed it. "And for thinking that since you were living with me, you were committed to the relationship."

"Getting married is not the only way to show your commitment," Hannah pointed out.

"Maybe not," Booth said, "but saying 'no' is not the way to show it, either."

"What about Temperance?" Hannah wanted to know. "Didn't she turn you down once too? So, what are you doing with her, now? She's also against marriage, isn't she? Or did she change her mind about that too?"

"Not really," Booth admitted, "but I haven't proposed to her. Nor am I going to; I'll wait for her to do it."

"Oh, for her you're willing to wait?" Hannah asked, with a distinct bite in her tone. "And how do you even know she'll ever ask you?"

"I just know," he shrugged. "And it wasn't really a matter of waiting for you, was it? You would never have been ready to marry me."

"We'll never know now, will be?" she asked. "But tell me, speaking of waiting; just how long did you and Temperance wait, anyway? Did you even wait for me to be out of your apartment? Or did you go running straight to her? I bet Temperance went looking for you after I talked to her. I bet that she only pretended to be my friend. She only wanted to be close and …"

"Okay, that's enough," Booth stopped her before she could say anything more. "You can think and say anything you want about me but you don't get to talk about Bones like that – especially in front of me. Besides, you know that's not true. She was your friend."

"Sure," she scoffed.

"She was," he insisted. Suddenly tired of the back and forth, he took a deep breath and tried to calm down before things deteriorated further. "Look, Hannah, I understand that all of this must have been a surprise for you."

"You think," she snorted but he ignored her.

"And I suppose you have a right to be hurt," he continued but she interrupted him again.

"How kind of you to give me permission," she glared at him.

"Hannah," he sighed. "What are you really doing here? It's been over a year since you left; what did you expect to find when you came back? You and I, we always had an expiration date and we both knew it. Whatever we tried to tell ourselves or others, deep down we knew it wouldn't last. It's why you said no, isn't it?"

"I bet you're glad I said no, now, aren't you?" she asked but he just shook his head.

"Hannah," he said again, patiently. "Just what did you expect to find? That I'd be waiting with open arms for you to come back?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if waiting wasn't exactly what he'd done for Temperance. She didn't because, even as worked up as she was, she realized that he hadn't really waited for Temperance - though it might have been better for all concerned if he had waited. But something in his tone and in his eyes, something too close to pity for her comfort, made her stop and wondered, just what _was_ she doing there?

_Balayés les amours/ swept away the loves  
>Avec leurs trémolos and all their tremors  
>Balayés pour toujours swept away forever  
>Je repars à zéro I start again from zero_

She'd told herself that she needed closure; that she wanted to close the door that she'd left open when she told him they weren't over. But standing in front of him, looking into his eyes, she realized that she'd wanted more than that; she'd wanted to reconnect, to see if they could go back and pick up where they left off. And standing in front of him, after having seen him with Temperance, she realized how irrational and just plain ludicrous that half formed wish had been because he was still him, and she was still her and they were still the same people they'd been the night proposed.

A year might have gone by but he was still the kind of man that wanted to settle down, that wanted a family and the house and the mini-van, the kind of man that was ready for all of that; and she was still the kind of woman that was happy being independent, going where the story took her, being accountable to no one, the kind of woman that might want to settle down with a man one day but that day hadn't come and Seeley wasn't that man.

In the split second it took for that thought to form, everything shifted and fell into place. It was such a novel thought that she froze for a moment and took a deep breath as she tried to absorb it and marvel at the truth of it. When she let the breath go, she also let go of the past and felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. That door she'd had stupidly left open back then slammed shut, permanently, and she got her closure after all.

"Hannah?" Booth asked, bringing her back to the present.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head, "I guess I don't know what I was thinking," there was no point in even trying to explain. "You're right; we always had an expiration date. It's a good thing we ended it when we did; things would never have worked out, would they?"

"Hannah, I…" he shook his head again and shrugged.

"You don't have to answer that," she told him. "I think I've always known the answer. I want to say I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted but no one could have given you what you wanted because what you've always really wanted was your Bones."

"We might not have been meant to be, Hannah," he said in an earnest voice, "but I don't want you to think that you weren't important to me. You were there for me when I really needed someone; you made a terrible time bearable. I'll never forget that or regret it and I'll always be grateful."

"You saved my life, Seeley," she told him with a small smile, "you always treated me right and we had some great times; I'll never forget or regret them either. But that's in the past and now it's time to concentrate on the present while looking towards the future, which is what you've been doing." Booth opened his mouth but before he could figure out what he wanted to say, but she shook her head again. "I hope you and Temperance will be very happy with your daughter and Parker. I can't think of two people who deserve it more." With the same small smile told him, "good bye," before walking away.

Booth stared after her until she got lost in the crowd and couldn't help but feel something at the knowledge that he wouldn't be seeing her again for a long time, if ever. It wasn't regret that they hadn't worked out because he knew that things had worked out like they were meant to and that Brennan had always been the woman he was supposed to end up with. And it wasn't a wish that she wasn't leaving or even sadness about it. It was a feeling of nostalgia at seeing a part of his past leave; a part that, though tumultuous, hadn't been all bad and had been instrumental in bringing about his current happiness.

It was the thought of his current happiness that dispelled the lingering nostalgia he'd been feeling. Hannah, his past, might have been walking away but Brennan, his present and future, was waiting for him in the diner. How could he be anything but happy when he had everything he'd ever wanted? With that thought in mind, Booth went back to the diner.

"Is everything okay?" Brennan asked when he sat down at their table.

"Yes," Booth said. "Everything's fine." He paused for a minute before adding, "I'm glad you insisted that I go after her, though. I guess since things had been settled in my mind for a while now I didn't really see the need to talk to her but it _is_ nice to know that they're also settled with her. It takes away whatever sense of unfinished business I might have still felt, you know?"

"I think so," she nodded. She might not have ever been in that situation herself but she knew Booth well enough to know that he would feel better after talking and 'making peace' with Hannah.

"And now that that's done," he told her with a small smile, "the past can stay where it belongs and we can move on." He went back to his aborted lunch with gusto.

Brennan's smile slid off her face at the words 'move on'; she knew that it was illogical, that the phrase only had the meaning one gave it but she would be quite happy if she never again heard him say it. Logical or not, she couldn't help but remember all the pain that followed his saying it that night on the steps of the Hoover. And though, she'd also made her peace with how things happened between them and she'd never really doubted Booth's commitment and love for her and their child, in that moment she couldn't help but wonder if maybe all he was doing was making the best of it.

She knew, rationally, that that wasn't true; that Booth wasn't the kind of man who would lie to her like that. She even knew it in her gut and not just because he had never given her any reason to distrust him. She knew it because she knew Booth almost as well as she knew herself and yet, now that she'd thought of the possibility, she couldn't get it out her mind. She tried to distract herself by talking about the case with Booth but it was no use. In the end she knew that the only thing she could do to get rid of it for good was talk to Booth about it.

_Non, Rien de rien/ No, absolutely nothing  
>Non, Je ne regrette rien No, I regret nothing  
>Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait Not the good things people have done to me  
>Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égal Not the bad things, it's all the same to me_

"Do you ever regret it?" she asked him.

"Regret what?" he looked at her in surprise. "My relationship with Hannah?" It wasn't really what she had in mind but she nodded, curious to hear his answer. "I regret that my relationship with her hurt you," he said, echoing what she'd told him their first morning together, "and I regret that I didn't handle it as well as I should have; but no, I don't regret the relationship itself. Given where you and I were emotionally and what I thought were your feelings towards me, I don't think I was wrong to start it and given the same set of circumstances, I'd probably do it again. In many ways, she helped me keep my sanity; but I do regret trying to make it into something that it was never meant to be. Do you understand?" He asked, worried that his answer offended or hurt her.

"Yes," she nodded. "Of course; you had to do what you thought was best at the moment. I know I hurt you badly when I said no …"

"Bones," he interrupted her, "that's in the past. And I know I hurt you too."

"Don't you regret it?" she wanted to know.

"That we hurt each other?" he asked and she nodded. "Of course I regret it but that's the risk you take when you fall in love. And maybe that's how you know it's the real deal – when you know that the person you're with can hurt you more than anyone else and yet you still want to be with her because when all it's said and done, you know that she won't hurt you on purpose and that you're happier together than you are apart."

"So, you don't," she hesitated for a moment before she took a deep breath and just asked what she'd been wondering, "you don't regret us?"

For a moment Booth just stared at her, wondering what had prompted such a question. They hadn't really talk about everything that happened before they got together in any detail but they've talked about it enough that she shouldn't doubt his commitment to her. He knew she was emotional about the imminent birth of their daughter and maybe that in combination with running into Hannah so unexpectedly was responsible for her sudden bout of insecurity. Whatever the reason, Booth knew he had to set her straight right away.

"Bones," he leaned forward and took her hand, "I _love_ you; I'm completely and totally in love with you. I've loved you for over half a decade and I'll love you the rest of my life."

"You can't know that," she protested but he smiled gently as he nodded.

"I _can_ know that," he insisted. "because if I didn't stop loving you when I wanted to, when I tried to, when it hurt so much to love you, why would I stop now when we're finally together, when I have everything I've ever wanted and I'm happier than I've ever been? I _know_ I'll love you for the rest of my life, Bones, and I don't, I could never regret us or anything that led to us being here. And to be honest, I think I'm actually relieved and, maybe even thankful that things happened like they did."

"You are?" it was her turn to be surprised. "Why?"

"Because, you and I, Bones, we're not easy people," he answered, "we're argumentative, competitive and stubborn and we have completely different views on life – there's just no way that starting or settling into a relationship was ever going to be easy. We were always going to have more than a few issues to settle and I think it's a good thing that we went through something that was as big and traumatic as a break up before we ever got together – it made things easier."

"Easier?" she asked, eyebrows raised high. "There was nothing easy about those months, Booth."

"I said easier, Bones, not easy," he corrected her. "Just think about it – think how you felt seeing me with Hannah and think how you'd feel if you were to see me with another woman now, after we've been together."

Just the thought of it made her frown; making friends with Hannah hadn't been easy, it had been all she could do to push aside her resentment, but she'd done it because she'd refused to lose Booth for good. But now that she'd been with him, that she knew what it was to be in his arms, she didn't think she could do the like again.

"I'd have to stop being your partner," she said slowly, as she realized it. He just nodded.

"And I couldn't stand back, bite my tongue and watch you leave for the other side of the world for a year. We couldn't do it now but we did it once and we ended up stronger for it, which means that whatever issues we now encounter won't feel as daunting as they could feel and we _know_ we'll get through them because we've already been through worse: we've tried being apart and we found that it doesn't work for either of us. So, I'm more than okay with how things happened and I don't regret a single moment of it."

"That makes a lot of sense," she mused.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged. "I can make sense from time to time."

"So, you don't regret that I got pregnant so fast?" she couldn't help but ask.

"What? No, of course not!" he denied instantly. "I mean, would I have liked to have more time for it to be just you and me? Yeah, that'd have been nice but I could never regret that you got pregnant, Bones. I already love our little girl. She's a little bit of you and a little bit of me. She's our daughter. How could I regret her?"

_Non, Rien de rien/ No, absolutely nothing  
>Non, Je ne regrette rien No, I regret nothing  
>Car ma vie, car mes joies Because my life, because my joys  
>Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi Today, they begin with you _

"But we barely had any time to just enjoy being together," she argued. "Between having to tell everybody and dealing with their reactions, we barely had two months to ourselves. Don't you regret that we scarcely had the time to enjoy that rush that comes with a new relationship? Won't you miss feeling that mix of excitement and anticipation?"

"That rush is a good feeling," he admitted. "But the thing about it, Bones, is that it always fades away and it never lasts as long as you'd want. And after it goes, if there isn't a solid foundation, if there was nothing but sexual attraction, then the relationship goes with it. But you and I, Bones, we're rock solid; we're much more than lust or sexual attraction. In fact, that rush you're talking about, I don't know that we really ever experienced it."

"How can you say that, Booth?" she asked, perplexed. "Those two months … I thought you enjoyed…" she was so stunned she couldn't finish a thought.

"Those two months were great, Bones," he assured her. "But so has been every month after. Or haven't you enjoyed making love the last five, seven months?"

"Of course I have!" she nodded fervently.

"We're not new acquaintances to each other, Bones," he explained. "We know each other almost better than we know ourselves; so that rush you're referring to – we can't really feel it. The rush I get is more along the lines of 'I can't believe this is finally happening,' or 'I can't believe she loves me and I get to sleep with her every night'. And I still get the 'I can't believe this is real' feeling at random moments: when I wake up, thinking maybe I dreamt it but I see you lying next to me or when I get home in the evenings and you're seating on the couch having a snack or when I drop you off at the lab and you leaned across and kiss me goodbye. But the best part is that when it fades, it's replaced by an even better feeling: the absolute certainty and awe that this is our new normal; that this life, this family we're making is for real and will last the rest of our lives. And that's a feeling that stays with me pretty much all the time and one I can't see ever fading. I just don't think that there is any point of comparison between them, do you? I'll take the certainty and awe over the anticipation and excitement any day of the week."

"You're right, that is better," she said softly. "And we can have whatever life we want, right?" she asked, repeating his own words from a few weeks earlier.

"Yes, we can," he nodded. Since permanence wasn't something Temperance Brennan had known since she was fifteen, Booth understood her occasional need for reassurance and willingly gave it. "New life, new memories," this time he repeated her words. "Let's leave the past in the past, where it belongs. From now on it's just you and me …"

"And our children," she finished for him. More than a little touch because he knew when she said 'children' she included Parker, Booth's grin only widened.

"To our future and our children," Booth toasted with his juice and grinning, Brennan joined in the toast.


End file.
